bliss

he's back. finally!

and he showed me all the emails i wrote to him, which were printed out and handed to him in the chamber. every single one of them. and he's kept the ones from the previous job too. i was touched. it was a little strange to see an entire month of thoughts and emotions folded up in a stack of papers. well, strange in a pleasant sorta way, not in a bad way.

bright, summer lovin'.. i'm lovin' it!!

goldie

an entire night of drum n bass! i don't know about you, but i sure haven't had that in a while!

the last time we had a short spurt of it was when DJ craze threw in an hour of drum n bass, during his set after the DMC competition at zouk a couple of weeks ago. that was pretty awesome. and i wasn't lit.

but last night i was lit. well, slightly. lit in a different sorta way as what leon woulda meant. i was a quarter lit. which means i was happily prancing around the club like a dancing bunny. ohh yeah, sweetheart, that's what you call me all the time.. dancing bunny. *wink*

last night was gold. but now i'm really tired. that's the story of my life. peak high, sink low. but hey, it's still anytime better than flatlining..

national karma

i've never had a penchant for national day. never knew what the excitement was all about, even as a kid, at an age where i should probably be fascinated by the colourful displays and well-rehearsed and intricate formations. neither was i ever impressed by the marching soldiers, their smart uniforms, nor in awe of the fact that they fired things from cannons that can actually hurt human beings. the fireworks never really caught my attention either, they were lacklustre on tv, because i've never, in my 30 years of existence, ever sat through the national day parade live.

lack of patriotism? perhaps. but more so, a huge disinterest in the repetitive way our nation's independence is being celebrated. but seriously, how much interest do they expect of me when the organising committee doesn't even show enough interest to make a big enough difference to our national day parade? by changing taglines, displays, themes and costumes, the committee tries to fool us into believing that there is something really different and exciting about the celebrations. kudos to them nevertheless, they've had a good 50,000 at the parade, and many more at home, fooled.

ok cynicism aside, i guess there IS a cause for celebration. after all, my wonderful life that i am so grateful for, will not exist if not for the 9th of august, 1965. however, i will not subscribe to the fact that we have to celebrate this important day in the same mundane way for 40 years. what really gets me, is how everyone stares at the tv, watching with bated breath, the unfolding of a procession that's been repeated year after year. are we naive or are we just conditioned into believing that THIS will be the special year; this will be the year that our national day parade will go down in history as the most memorable parade ever to be hosted? 4 months later, nothing is remembered.

but remember national day 2005, i will. call it karma for my lack of patriotism. (but then again, what does patriotism really mean in our materialism-infected nation?) i received a deep gash from a knee-to-chin landing on a backroll on national day this year. the flesh under my skin split wide open, and blood gushed out of the wound turning the bit of water around me into a sea of red. amidst my wails, i could see and hear those around me trying to maintain a calm face, pacifiying me that it's really just small. as i was rushing to the hospital, every tv i came across had the national day parade on, (yes, even the tv in the doctor's waiting room) mocking my nonchalance. so while the nation was celebrating its 4th decade, i was in the hospital receiving 4 stitches on my chin.

so now, i have a scar under my chin that will remind me forever of national day 2005; my one and only tribute to the nation.

wednesday evening chat

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
hey wen’s ands comin back anyway?

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
in his email he said a couple of weeks

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
after the wakefest

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
i miss him sooo much.. i've been thinkin to myself.. how come this time it feels harder than the last.. like it's takin soo long.. i dunno la.. i vascillate a lot... sometimes i think i'm ok.. the next hour i'm sad.. aiyaaaa.. this is weird

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
ooo

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
i noe

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
i hear ya

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
☺

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
its feelings

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
not science

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
dats why it cannot be measured, determined, analysed and finally computerised into a perfect answer

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
thats relationships

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
thats love

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
i guess..

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
i wanna be strong

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
don't wanna whine.

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
i noe

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
i hope i'm not whining now.. haha

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
trust me

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
i hear ya

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
☺

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
we try to be strong

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
but sometimes its jus hard la

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
it's jus that.. something's chewing at me inside... then there's this big hole...

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
and the stronger those appear on the outset.. tend to be fragile inside cuz their hard shell is protecting a fragile inner

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
u noe?

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
☺

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
☺

KooKⓔy Monzster™▐ ☊ ::: lemon daze ::: says:
u are not alone!

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
HAHAHA!

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
i write him everyday, and i never run out of things to tell him.. he probably thinks i'm rattling like a crazy woman.. but its really silly little things that i wanna tell him but he's not around, u know what i mean?

:: Princess Vaderess :: i miss my bolster says:
and then its really nice when i hear from him! it makes me smile ☺